30 November 2010

Hey, Bruno Mars a 'Grenade' is a Fart Bomb!

Dear FM Radio listeners,
   In general, the swill you listen to sucks. It is, for the most part, pure crap. Lame lyrics. Formulaic rhythm tracks, reinforced by even lamer dance moves. You are, each of you, sheep that march swiftly into slaughter for the new pop fm radio single of the moment. Please, continue downloading your ring-tones...and, I honestly don't mind that you love your pop music. I don't care, that you don't care.

   What I do have strong feelings about, what really gets my panties in a bunch, is Bruno Mars and the fact that he has the balls (or come to think about it, maybe he doesn't have balls...that would explain things) to write the crap he writes, record that crap, perform that crap, sell that crap and not throw up in his own mouth every time he hears his own voice. He has all of the talent of a chicken-choking 15 year old boy.

   In my lifetime, I have survived many a pop star who was without talent, but you Bruno, take the cake. The lyrics to your current single 'Grenade' leave me absolutely dumbfounded. I can think of nothing better to do than to shove sharpened pencils in my ears each and every time I hear your Pledge of Allegiance to the United States of Lame.

   Bruno, buddy, FYI, a grenade is:
-a small shell containing an explosive and thrown by hand.
-the act of placing your hands behind your ass, while simultaneously cupping them & firmly farting into them and then tossing said grenade at the nearest persons face.
-According to reality TVs 'The Situation' of Jersey Shore fame, grenades are the ugly girls at the club that you 'date' just to 'get some'.
-All of the above, if used in reference to Bruno Mars and his talent (term used lightly).

If you (the reader of this Blog) have not heard Bruno's track...God Bless you! I have taken the liberties of jotting a few of Bruno's lyrics down for your enjoyment.

   Yours Truly,

'Grenade' by Bruno Mars

"...To give me all your love is all I ever asked, Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah). Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah). I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)...I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain..."

1 comment:

  1. It is a fun one-setting video pretty much suited to the message of the song.
    It is very refreshing to see Bruno Mars do some dance moves, as well.:D